Brave girls don't cry!

I was busy playing blind man’s bluff in the park with vinni, when Bijee walked in with tears in her eyes. She hugged me tight and wept for a while before she carried me home in her godi. I was informed later by ma and dad that they had been posted out of station to a place that did not have schools and that I was being sent to boarding school in 2 weeks time. Mama explained to me, that a she wanted me to grow up to be a well read, well educated girl which was not possible in the place they were moving into.
The two weeks before I joint hostel were quite thrilling, but definitely not the best. We went shopping almost daily collecting articles that ranged from a mattress, a huge new trunk that had in name painted on it with white, new toothbrushes, new dresses, Protinex, and the list grew continuously. Mama kept explaining to me that I was being sent to place where I would have other girls my age who would study and play with me, teachers and other people to take care of me. It then dawned upon me that mom and dad weren’t going to be around when I came back from school every afternoon.
I think I must have got a temporary stomach cancer for those two weeks as I couldn’t eat or drink much, and had a constant stomach ache. Vinni wondered why I wasn’t coming to play in the evening. The rumuor among my friends was that I was getting married. Mama was always busy packing and hardly spent any time with me. Papa appeared more serious but did give me longer scooter rides on his vespa every day after coming back from work. Bijee started telling me stories about Hanuman that she had ever told me before. Now I realize she wanted me to know the entire Ramayana before I went to hostel.
The day finally arrived. I was allowed to wear my blue frock that had lacy flowers on it. All my articles and accessories that had been neatly packed up by mama were loaded onto our brand new yellow fiat. I thought I was going to die of stomach cancer then .The drive was very short, we soon reached Sacred Heart Convent School. It was the same school I went to daily but now I was being admitted to the hostel. I had heard strange things about the hostel. Nuns beat up children if they didn’t eat their food. I was extremely scared; Bijee always saved me from mama’s wrath when I didn’t eat the food in my plate.
A lady called sister Justina met as at the entrance and guided us to a hall, which was full of beds covered with similar bedspreads and wooden cupboards. It was painted white and had lots of pink curtained windows .On the side was a line of pegs that had towels neatly hung on them. Rows of shoe racks with neatly polished shoes and slippers were aligned next to the wall. The place had a strange smell.
Sister Justina assigned a bed and a cupboard to me and asked mama to shift all my newly bought articles there. It was 2 hours before my newly acquired bed had been adorned with my teddy bear bed sheets and my cupboard neatly stacked with my dresses and uniforms. Sister Justina allowed me to keep Dodo, my bloated-up alien-looking stuff toy, on the bed. I tucked him within the sheets. He would stay safe that way. Sister Justina gave us a guided tour of the entire hostel. Mama looked pleased with the place where we were going to be given our meal. They called it “the mess”. There were playgrounds and dollhouses and study rooms; separate rooms from everything.
It was almost 4 in the evening now. It was time for ma and pa to leave. I was clinging onto mama, but she had taught me that brave girls don’t cry so I din’t. But I dint want to let go of her dupatta.
Sister Justina came and took charge while my parents drove away, back home. I was left in a room full of girls my age. I forgot mama after a while, everyone had different dolls. We played till the bell rang for evening prayer. We were led into the chapel. After prayer I was called onto the altar, and introduced to everyone.
Dinner followed. We were all seated on either side of long tables. We said “the daily grace” and then served ourselves food. Everyone put food in her own plates; I dropped the hot daal all over my favorite blue frock. The daal bowl was too big and heavy for me. I had ruined my dress. Sister Agnes (the mess-in charge) sent me to the dark ,dingy,ladies room to get cleaned up. It was a scary place. By the time i finished washing up, I had tears in my eyes, and was missing Bijee terribly. She always cleaned me up when I got dirty. When I reached the mess, the food was over. I ate some plain bread and drank hot milk.
Sister Justina took us all to dormitory after that. All the girls changed into nightclothes by themselves. Sukhmani, my new friend came to my bed and talked to me for a while. It seemed she liked Dodo.
After sometime sister Justina came and switched off the lights. It was time to go to sleep, I was told. As I said my daily prayer to Babaji that night, hot tears were pouring onto my pillow. I din't want anyone to hear my sobs so I hid my face in my sheets. I must have dreamt of mama that night, because I had a peaceful sleep.
That was my first day in boarding school. Twenty-one years later, I still have moist eyes as I write. But Mama says, “Brave girls don’t cry!”